Was it a merkin once owned by Alan Jones nestled in the paper coffin of his dignity? My boss is a huge fan, so it was entirely possible that he'd purchase said memorabilia.
Did some unfortunate possum get stuck in a hairdressers for a long weekend and subsist entirely on trimmings before escaping and passing a big furry poop in the family kitchen?
Was I supposed to clean it?!
I picked up the girls and fed them an afternoon snack of avocado on crackers (the little darlings wanted cheddar shapes and a milkshake but I refused on behalf of their cholesterol levels). A, the youngest, picked up the thing and asked proudly if I liked her diorama. I told her it was beautiful, and asked what it was.
She looked at me with an expression somewhere between bewilderment and disdain.
'It's a bear. In a boat.'